The Neko and The Samurai
by Enola06
Summary: The dream of something bigger than me, the dream of a piece of you in me and a piece of me in you. This dream was the proof that our dream wasn't just a dream. This dream is the only thing of you that stayed with me. Ranka/Alto
1. Prologue Fated

**Disclaimer: I don't own Macross Frontier or its characters. This is purely fan-made and has almost anything to do with it.**

**NOTE: **_I changed the prologue for a very good reason. I keep reading it and reading it, but there's always missing something. It doesn't have much of a change but its important.  
_

Well this one is AU. WARNING AU!!

**Warning:** **Alternate Universe**. Angst and adult schemes. Alto/Ranka fanfiction. It may appear in the beginning as if it isn't but hope you will be patient with me and read. Alto/Sheryl big dose but very important to Alto/Ranka relationship. Both good and bad.

**Pairs: **Alto/Ranka

Alto/Sheryl

Nanase/Luca

Michael/Klan

Hope this prologue is to your liking. There will be more to come. Give it a try!

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**_The Neko and The Samurai_**

**_Prologue_**

**_- Fate -_**

_Neh, Alto-kun... Will I ever see you __again?__  
I miss you. I really miss you._

_But that day you said goodbye didn't you? It still feels as if it was yesterday.  
Three__ years have passed since I last saw you. And it still hurts. I still hear it all, your last words to me.  
_

_You chose her. Your eyes told me you were certain of it and that was what you wanted.__  
Sheryl-san needed you and you knew I would let you go… because you knew I really loved you.  
And you knew I would never deny you your wishes nor would I deny you your chosen path._

_That was the first time I was unselfish or maybe I was shocked at myself. Because I knew somehow that you would leave._

_Sometimes I caught myself asking, __"Was it all a dream?".  
Those happy days we had together at some point I wanted to erase and forget them. Happy memories become pain when those memories are just that... memories.  
_

_It was a dream after all because you aren't here anymore. _

_And now Onii-chan is gone. Nana-chan is gone. Everyone is gone.  
All of us made our choices, different paths and different lives._

_ I feel as if I've been left behind since that day. As if waiting for you to come back._

_I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. I'm such an idiot. Waiting… what for? For someone that isn't coming back? What am I waiting for?  
I'm just so tired of suffering.  
_

_I can't forget that night either. That last bitter-sweet night, so unforgettable. __That night, you helped me fulfill it. __My dream…__ And you don't even know it.  
_

_I wanted to tell you. I wanted for you to know it. I wanted you to be there. But I didn't have the courage to tell Onii-chan.  
I was weak and childish.  
I was hoping he would accept me even after that.  
I guess it was time for me to grow up. So I hoped I could change._

_So was hoping to change… a bad thing?_

_It was hard. It was really hard to change because to change yourself is fighting yourself at the same time._

_It hurt. There were days I thought, "I'm going to die.", "I can't make it.", "Someone help me... I can't do it anymore!".  
Changing was fighting every and each day. No rest, no hiding and no running away. All depended of my will. _

_Now I think, "I'm happy I tried, because I made it somehow. I did change many things, but I couldn't change it all, if I changed it I wouldn't be me, those things made me who I am."_

_"Memories makes us who we are, so we mustn't forget ourselves. Denying will bring uncertainties and doubts, so we shouldn't lie to ourselves." This is a daily mantra I keep saying to myself. I won't forget it, I won't deny it. To forget and deny it is denying my existence and my dream._

_I will live for me and for my dream as well. Because this dream was what made me live and change._

_The dream of something bigger than me, the dream of a piece of you in me and a piece of me in you. This dream was the prof that our dream wasn't just a dream._

_This dream is the only thing of you that stayed with me._

_This is the dream of Ranka Lee and Saotome Alto._

**T.B.C Please visit my profile to see poll related to this chapter!  
**

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	2. Chapter 1 The Grace of His Father

**Disclaimer: I don't own Macross Frontier or its characters. This is purely fan-made and has almost anything to do with it.**

**(****NOTE: You can find the uncensored version fanfiction of "The Neko and the Samurai" in my website. Just go to my profile page and enter the Website. Have a nice navigation in it.)**

Well this one is AU. WARNING AU!!

**Warning:** **Alternate Universe**. Angst and adult schemes, Alto/Ranka fanfiction. It may appear in the beginning as if it isn't but I hope you will be patient with me and read. Alto/Sheryl big dose but very important to Alto/Ranka relationship, both good and bad things.

Alto and Sheryl don't appear in this chapter.

**Pairs: **Alto/Ranka

Alto/Sheryl

Nanase/Luca

Michael/Klan

**HOPING: I need a beat reader really desperately! I can't access the Beta Reader page. So if you know someone that has the ability and wants to work with me, then please tell me. **** I may need to correct this chapter after that. But I'll warn everyone!**

Hope this chapter is to your liking. There will be more to come. Give it a try!

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_**The Neko and t**__**he Samurai**_

_**Chapter I**_

_**- **__**The Grace of His Father -**_

"Ranka-sama! We have a big problem!" Ranka jumped from the surprise, and curse her bad luck or clumsiness; she fell down from the chair in which she was standing so she could get to one of the highest draws.

"Ranka-sama!" Her employee gasped in horror while seeing Ranka fall down and making a ruckus with the chair. Not that the girl wasn't used to see her manager always falling down or crashing into something, but it was always something fearsome and remarkable to see it.

"Are you alright, Ranka-sama?" The girl asked approaching the fallen woman.

"Ow, ow, ow… my butt." Ranka said while sitting up. She got up and started rubbing the pain away. Not that it would help anyway…

"Why does this always happen? I have bruises for a lifetime and another one." Ranka said and looked embarrassed to the open wide green eyes of the girl. She was always embarrassing herself in front of others.

The girl blinked and said while laughing, "Ranka-sama you're scary! Don't you think one lifetime of clumsiness is enough?"

Ranka looked surprise for a moment and then laughed.

"You're right, Io-chan. I guess one life of bad luck is enough." Ranka said, ending with a sarcastic tone. She needed a vacation now. It was getting worse everyday, her clumsiness and her mood.

Io looks at her employer and notices the sad mood overcome Ranka.

"Ranka-sama, your back must not hurt that much, neh?" Io asked tilting her head to look at the woman. Sometimes that worked to get her manager's mood up.

Ranka always made her think of a sad beautiful melody. It started lively and jumpy, as a butterfly flying in opened sky, just to fall to a sad rainy day that slowly fell from the grey clouded sky.

"Hehe, not that much! So what is going on Io-chan, you gave me quite a scare. I wasn't expecting that." Ranka got up and asked while tiding her uniform up and looking at the taller girl.

Instantly Ranka saw Io's eyes widening and looking alarmed. The girl looked scared and in panic.

"Ranka-sama, it's terrible, horrible! We received a call from Saotome-sama!" Io exclaimed alarmed. Ranka tensed up immediately and her posture became stiff.

"What happened?" Ranka asked her tone serious and troubled. Saotome Ranzou never called them to give good news. Be it to threat them to make more pastries or to serve has fast as possible.

"Saotome Ranzou-sama said that if you didn't pick your personal phone, he would stop being our client, for many others are waiting for him and that they will give him greater services." Io said while almost out of breath.

_Personal phone… ah! Hehe, forgot him home. Are, are… guess it's not that bad then._ Ranka thought while relaxing physically. Poor Io-chan, she would age earlier. The girl took this really serious.

Ranka smiled to the girl and said, "Io-chan don't worry, Ranzou-sama is just a little impatient. I already know what this is about. Please send me his call to my office. I will calm him down."

Io looked surprised and breathed deeply and looked relieved.

"Ahhh, my heart almost stopped, I thought I would die this time." Said Io while bowing her head and sitting down for a moment in an opened boxed that was waiting to be emptied.

Early one of their suppliers brought new goods and the manager had said she was going to order them and later give a presentation to the staff about its objective and what it was good for.

Ranka laughed at the girl and patted Io's shoulders.

"Don't worry, Io-chan. You know I can deal with him. So leave it to me!" Ranka comforted the stressed employee.

Io looked up and smiled while saying, "Saotome Ranzou-sama is horrible. I can't deal with him at all. If it weren't for Ranka-sama we would lose him for sure."

Ranka smiled. Io was such a good girl.

_What would I do without you Io-chan? I would go insane in this pastry for sure._

Nagasaki Io was eighteen-years-old. She was the middle child of a five member family. Ranka staffed her one year ago, when the girl entered her office, drenched from head to toe, eyes red from crying or sick, and begged her to employ her.

Io's story was a sad one. Her parents had an accident and were both in a deep coma. Her older brother wasn't in the country and they had all lost contact since he left home. That left her with her little brother, a one-year-old boy alone with her. Io needed money really fast so she could provide well for him.

"_Please, please, Lee Ranka-sama! I'm begging you!" The girl had her body bowed and her hair was soaked._

_Ranka was shocked and her pen had fallen down in the floor a minute ago when the drenched girl entered like a tornado._

"_I know that you are full staffed, but I really need this job. My little brother… my parents… I need to help them! Please…" Ranka heard the girl sobbing and sniffing. What a mess the girl was._

"_Please, don't bow. Straight yourself up." Ranka said, getting up and walking to a cupboard and taking a towel to the girl._

_The girl had stopped bowing and accepted the towel. But she hadn't stopped crying._

"_So, what's your name?", asked Ranka, while helping the girl dry her long light brown hair._

"_Io… Nagasaki Io." The girl sniffed. She started trembling with cold. Ranka smiled and brought her to the radiator._

_Ranka remember being like that two times in her whole life. She could see herself in I, helpless and terrified of the world but not hopeless._

_Ranka knew the feeling of having hoped and having it broken; the feeling that no one would accept you and then the despair would consume you. _

_Ranka didn't want Io to know that feeling because the desire to die, the desire to run and hide and the desire to forget, would be almost impossible to resist._

_So Ranka knew what she had to do, to hear Io's story, and help her._

And help she did. Io and Ranka were really alike in many things. Maybe that's the reason why Ranka couldn't help but need her.

"Thank you Io-chan for warning me. Now go up and send me the call before he decides to stop waiting. I let you out early today." Ranka said walking to the door at the left side while waving goodbye.

"Thank you, Ranka-sama! I will do that!" Io thanked,got up from the box and run up the stairs.

Ranka closed the door of the small office to sit in a chair by her desk.

She knew that Io needed to take care of her now two-year-old boy, Nagasaki Ryuu. He was one of the sweetest children she ever got to know.

Life was never easy for anyone.

The orange sunlight entered by the window behind her casting a soft glow in the room. All was glowing like a burning star. Just like a dream.

Ranka loved the sunset of a clean day. It made her feel calm and content. The sunset was the symbol that another day passed and soon another would come.

_One more day alive, o__ne more day not waiting for anyone, one more day living for them._

Ranka is startled by a phone ring and she picked it up while saying, "Hai? This is Ranka Lee speaking."

"Ranka-sama, I will pass Saotome Ranzou-sama now." Io said by the receiver. Ranka could hear the busy business upstairs. Today was Friday and the most busy day of the week.

"Thank you, Io-chan. Go home and rest. Thank you for your hard work. Oh… and please warn Kazaki-san that I'm leaving." Ranka said while relaxing in the chair.

"Of course! Thank you for letting me off early. So, Ja ne, Ranka-sama!"

"No, problem, Ja ne!" Ranka heard the calling switching. And silence for a second.

"This is Ranka, Saotome-sama." Ranka said in a serious tone. She knew what would come now. So she had to be the calm one.

"Ranka! I've been trying to talk to you for an hour now! Don't you have a phone for these things? Why do teenagers buy it if they don't use it?" Saotome Ranzou wasn't a very patient man. But Ranka has gotten used to it in no time.

He was right of course but Ranka had been so tired that she forgot it. Friday was the worse day to her. Customers were impatient from the week too and the children didn't help. Friday was the worse day for everyone.

Ranzou was one of those persons. Friday was the worse day for him too.

But Ranka had always been a very patient person when it came to help people. And if you get to know the person you would understand her.

When you try to know the person and to understand her, you would kind of know a completely different person and get a surprise. Ranka learn that really fast after understanding Ranzou. Sometimes people hided behind a cold and harsh façade so they couldn't be hurt again, some became distant, others got weaker and weaker, each person had its own way of protecting their feelings.

And Saotome Ranzou's façade was a cold and harsh one. Ranzou was a proud and honoured man. He was the Head of the family and with it came great responsibility. Ranzou didn't have the luxury of failing.

"I'm sorry, Ranzou. I forgot it home today. I won't do it again.", said Ranka picking up a blue paperclip. She really liked blue…

The blue sky, the sky that was free and almost eternal; the blue feelings, feelings of happiness and freedom;

_B__lue hair… his blue hair… silky blue hair, flying in breeze with freedom… now out of reach… just like the sky…_

"This is until you do it again of course… Well, returning to the important subject. Ranka, bring the pastries now. I'm an old man you know, I need my rest too. You recognize that they are hard to deal. Even harder if they are hungry!" Ranzou sounded tired and angry.

She should be concentrating in what he was saying.

"Hai, hai, hai! I was leaving anyway. Can't leave you for a second can I?" Ranka said while freeing her long wavy hair.

Ranka had it changed from the green of spring to a green of autumn and golden rivers.

Gone was the spring of life. Now it was autumn.

Maybe it would be autumn forever. Today was the fourth year in autumn since then.

"I'm sorry for burdening you; sometimes I think I don't deserve it at all…" There was silence in the connection.

Maybe Ranka had surprised Ranzou with the tone she said it because there wasn't even the sound of his breathing.

She knew she shouldn't have sound so honest but sometimes she needed to tell it. Ranka didn't expect an answer and she knew Ranzou knew this was just an out loud thought.

He knew the melancholy of this day.

Today was September 15th, the most horrible day to her.

"Don't take long Ranka, I want them here now! Later." And then Ranzou ended the call as fast as he started it.

Ranka looked at the receiver and smiled softly. She loved this kind of moments.

Ranka putted the phone down and let herself fall back to the chair so she could look at the golden orange ceiling.

"Tired…" She whispered to the shadows. Ranka didn't hear a sound and she almost fell asleep. It has been a hard week. There were many customers and clients coming and demanding the highest quality of the product.

This year had been hell. She didn't know what was happening but Ranka knew that many would fatten by the quantity of times they order from her national known pastry "Meow Nyan!".

Yes, she knew the name was strange but that was the thing more unique about the Pastry. And many just came in just to kill the curiosity.

Well said, "Curiosity killed the cat!"

"You will all be killed by my pastries and sweets. Nyan!" Ranka was going insane that's the truth. Wasn't talking alone considered insanity?

Ranka lift her left arm to look at a leather bracelet with two bell cats. The leather was worn out and the bells were getting rusty but she didn't have the heart to take it from her wrist.

_Even if I want to take it out, my body or my heart won't let my mind do it. I'm such a masochist.__ It has been four years._

Ranka exhaled and lifted her body forward to put her left arm in the surface of the desk and making the bells sing. They started glowing gold when the last of the sunset light collided with it.

_Wish I could do it. So I could move forward nicely and painl__ess but it's true that there is no happiness without pain first._

Her eyes came to rest in a picture in her desk. Her left fingers started reaching for it and her red eyes started to get moist. Then she stopped without touching the surface of the picture.

She wanted to face it down. She really did, but that would mean she would forget. And she knew that to forget was to deny it and lie.

Ranka was way passed that part. She wouldn't forget. She would remember and remember well all of it.

Ranka smiled sadly at the picture and then got up and left the office without looking behind once.

That's was the only picture they had taken together.

!-!

Saotome residence was one of the most beautiful she had ever seen. Saotome family was the most famous _Kabuki_(0) family that Ranka knew.

The moon was reflected in the _koi_ pond (1) that was in the middle of the Japanese garden; from behind her the shoji illuminated a little the garden and she could hear Ranzou talk to them.

They were the last words of a full day of training.

Ranka was sitting down with a box of pastries at her side while looking up at the moon.

"Four years… doesn't seem like it." Ranka whispered and a cloud of white came from her mouth.

Four years since she last saw him. Four years since he really became out of her reach. Four years since she lost her confidence.

Ranka heard the _shoji (2)_ open and then two baby voices said, "Kaa-san!"

Ranka turned and opened her arms. The two children run and hugged her. Her left hand caressed a small green head and her right a small blue one.

They were her reason for living. Her twins were all she had. Yes that's right. Ranka was a mother of twins. They were her child. They were her cherished boys.

They were a piece of_ him_ in her.

"Yue, Yuki! I missed you both so much!" Ranka said hugging them closer. They were so small, so fragile to her. But they were so strong at the same time.

They both looked at her face, with tears in their eyes, a pair of red and a pair of gold.

And a piece of her in _him_.

"Kaa-san… where were you? I wanted Kaa-san." Yue, the child named of moon, he was the most like his father. His blue hair glowed like his father's at the moonlight. But his red eyes blinked like hers.

"Kaa-san was long out… Yue and Yuki lonely…" Yuki, the child named of snow, his hair was like Ranka when spilled in the white of the snow and his gold eyes calm but happy as his dad has once been.

They were both her light and her reminder of _him_. This was the only thing of him that he left with her.

"Forgive, Okaa-san(3). I won't leave, Yuki or Yue alone again.", said Ranka hugging them close again. They were quietly crying and she started rocking them in her arms while humming a lullaby song.

That have been the first night she was in her house without them, the first night without them. Ranka wouldn't do it again in a long time.

Ranzou was at the shoji entrance looking at the three of them. It has been hours since they started quieting down.

Yue and Yuki have been crying for their mother for hours, with Ranzou trying to make them forget she was out with some movies and then even started to make faces but without success.

He was getting too old for this…

"Thank you Ranzou." Ranka whispered to him. She was looking at him with a tear in her eye. Ranka was really dependent on them.

It had been his idea. So she could have a good night sleep and work without worrying. He knew today was a day to forget.

"It was nothing. Come inside, it's too cold for them." Ranzou was right; the nights were getting colder and colder.

Ranka got up with both of the child in her arms and entered the heated room. Ranzou brought the pastry box inside and putted it in the _Kotatsu (4)_.

Ranka had let the twins lie down and put their head in her lap. Two curtains of hair covered her legs now, one green and one blue. Ranka had let their hair grow long. One of her pastimes was running her hands through their hair. They were silky and velvet like. And they always fell asleep when she did that.

Both of them were wearing a white kimono with a black coat and their feet covered with white socks. Those were their training kimonos.

Ranka looked up and asked Ranzou faintly, "How were they both today in training?"

Ranzou trained Yue and Yuki in the Kabuki; they were the successor of the family now.

Ranzou was eating one of her strawberry pastries. He loved the small ones. They didn't have much to eat, but they were enough to leave the taste. Ranzou's favourite has always been the ones with strawberries.

He finished first the pastry and then said, "They like to do most of the things but not the still and concentrating part. They are still too young for it. But Yuki…"

Ranka waited patiently for Ranzou to finish. He always was dramatic when speaking. His line of work demands it of him. And Ranka always though it beautiful.

Like father like son…

_He _always did it, unconsciously. Even _his _bored tone was dramatic. _His _voice and dramatic was one of the things that made her fall in love with _him_.

"Yuki… has the grace of his father." Ranka eyes widen and her hands stood still. The twins were already sleeping and they didn't notice their mother's moves stopping.

Ranzou shake his head and corrected, "No… Yuki is even better than his father when he was at his age."

Ranka looked down at Yuki, there was a bang covering his face and with a finger she slides it behind his small velvet ear. The baby skin was still present and velvet like always. Their lashes must have been as long as their father at this age, which gave them a feminine beauty and their lips pink and soft as a petal of a pink lotus.

"You know… its not hard to believe.", whispered Ranka while caressing their face as softly as possible. She didn't want to awake them.

"After you showed me your son's pictures… I always thought they will be like him. I'm a little jealous." Ranka giggle at the last sentence.

"Why? You have no reason to be. They look up to you." Ranzou asked while drinking the hot tea that one his staff brought them to drink while he had been eating the pastries.

He filled Ranka's cup and lift it to her so she could take it. She instantly accepted it while warping both hands in the hot cup. Early her hands had frozen while waiting outside, not that she couldn't entered but she wanted to give Ranzou and her sons their time.

"Thank you… it's just… as if he can call them his more than I can." Ranka confessed blushing.

Ranzou's eyes widened and soon he was laughing loudly. Ranka jumped in surprise and said, "Ranzou, the kids…"

He tried to quiet down and got to sob the laugh, shockingly, the twins didn't woke up, and Ranka then knew she hadn't been the only one with a bad night.

"Ranka you still make an old man laugh. I thought I knew the world like I know the palm of my hand. Still, here you are, my girl, surprising me." whispered Ranzou still laughing and Ranka sipped the tea.

Ranka pouted and whispered, "You must still not know your palm then…" Ranzou stopped laughing to chuckle and sip the tea.

There was a comfortable silence between them, only the sips were heard and the noise of the night.

Ranka looked around and noticed that the _Ikebana _(5) was differently made. Everyday they changed it. Usually the tradition in Saotome house was that the Saotome Wife would do it each morning in the ritual of the tea, but Saotome house didn't have a present Wife in a long time.

"Oh, a new style of Ikebana? Who made it? It's… different.", asked Ranka while scrutinizing the flower arrangement.

"Yue did it.", answered Ranzou looking at it. Ranka was surprised once again.

"Yue did? I thought one of your staff made it… it's really good.", Ranka whispered proudly. Her twins were always making her proud.

"He's always watching them do it. He asked if he could try. So there it goes. His first try has come already. Makes you proud doesn't it?" Ranzou asked now looking at her. Ranka had grown from a scared pregnant teenager, to a proud mother.

And he could see her become miserable, just like now.

"Yesterday night, I went insane." Ranka whispered as if confessing something horrible which caught he's full attention. When she became like this, someone needed to be there to help her overcome it.

"The house… was so quiet and cold as if there wasn't life, I almost could see ghosts and demons and I felt like one. I saw him again." Ranka always told him when she saw his son. Be it a dream or illusion. They weren't many.

"And then he was gone again. I saw Yue and Yuki leave with him, to go to her side. I remember screaming and crying and begging for them to come back. I woke up, it was morning and I was in the floor of the hall, I trashed the house and got cut in my palm in the mirror of the bathroom." Her voice was rough and her eyes unfocused as if remembering.

She was telling the truth even if he only noticed the bandage in her right hand, just now. He was looking at it and Ranka showed him the palm just for him to see a rough streak of blood staining it.

"Pretty crazy, huh? I haven't done it since I came here for your help four years ago." Ranka was feeling humiliated.

How could she let herself be like that when she was a mother? She should have control.

"It was your first day, in this day, all alone since then. You weren't ready then…" whispered Ranzou. Ranka put the tea down and comforted herself by caressing her sons once again. She knew it have been a test; both of them had talked about it for weeks. They thought she could do it that she was ready for it.

"I though I was. I mean… I should have been. I have them both and they are my strength. Why… couldn't I do it? Why…?" Ranka started crying.

"You couldn't do it because of that. You depend emotionally too much of them. You need to remember that they won't leave you, Ranka. You have been the only one for them unconditional and tireless since they were born." Ranka smiled at that. It wasn't everyday that Ranzou said those things to her, much less to anyone.

"Children don't forget their mother even if she abandons them." Ranka didn't know much about Ranzou parents but one of the staff whispered behind his back about how his mother left the house in Ranzou 10th birthday.

The women outside the Saotome family were looked down and loathed; many had turned their backs and left the house. Leaving broken hearts and even more hate for the outside women.

"You just need time to heal. You haven't looked inside yourself really seriously. You only have been immersing yourself in your children and forgot to heal." Ranzou said finishing his tea and to lift the bell house to sing it.

It was a small silver thing but it was really useful. Ranzou used it to call one of the maids. The house was quiet and it would be easy to hear the ring of it.

They heard the light footsteps and then the shoji opened to show maid. Ranka would call then _Geisha_, beautiful and graceful, just like a butterfly.

"Maiko-san, please fetch me and Ranka-sama our dinner and bring a warm blanket for the children, for this night is cold." Ranka always got shocked at the change of face Ranzou suffered when in the presence of someone else but her sons.

"Of course, Saotome Ranzou-sama. If you excuse me…" The maid voice was faint and Ranka almost couldn't hear her at all. She saw the woman bow and close the shoji so she could carry the orders out.

It has been a tradition between both of them, to drink first the hot tea and eat a pastry and then dinner. Ranzou called it an appetite opener but Ranka like to call it sweet tooth.

"You can stay the night. I presume that the Lee house isn't ready to hold neither my grandsons nor you. And I feel better knowing you don't have to drive in the night." assumed Ranzou.

Secretly or maybe not, Ranka was relieved by the offer. She hadn't had the time to clean the house properly. Ranka liked to keep the floor perfectly spotless, so that Yue and Yuki could lie down and play in any room they liked. She had even changed the carpet for _tatami (6)_. Ranzou had given her the idea and he even help in the expenses.

"Thank you very much once again. Tomorrow I'll go clean it up." Ranka assured Ranzou. But the old man had other ideas.

"Not accepted. I'll send two of my staff to straight it up. They are bond to secrecy so there are no worries. Tomorrow is my grandsons and your day. You own them that. The past night wasn't only exhausting to you; they suffered the separation as well. They only fell asleep after much crying." So Ranka thought right.

Yue and Yuki normally would stay awake until after she had her dinner and would fall asleep in the car in the trip home.

"I thought so. They fell asleep instantly." Ranka couldn't stop sliding her hands in their hair. And she could smell the flowery shampoo on them.

_They must have taken a bath earlier. Usually we take a bath when we get home._

Soon the maid entered with two trays of food and a younger maid brought the blanket. Slowly she approached Ranka and lifted it so Ranka could accept it.

"Thank you." Ranka whispered while covering the boys.

The maid bowed and left without another word. The older maid after arranging the table with the food bowed and left as well.

Ranka bent over the twins and gave a kiss to each one. Then lifted and turned her torso so she could eat with Ranzou.

"Neh, Ranzou, hope will do this for many more years to come." Ranka said while smiling. Ranzou looked at her as if asking the reason.

Ranka looked at him and whispered as if it was a secret, "You came to be the father I lost a long time ago."

And the face Ranzou made at that moment would be imprinted in her mind forever because it wasn't everyday that Saotome Ranzou would be speechless and nervous for the whole dinner time.

!-!

It was four in the morning but she was still awake. The boys were sleeping soundly in the bed, while she was sitting in front of a desk. The only thing she could hear was the wind, her children breathing and the beating of her heart.

Coming to this room, while having her sons there, always gave her completely and utterly peace of mind. Maybe because it was _his _room and it screamed of _him _and that because if she was there with the twins it was as if they were all together somehow. Ranzou knew that and maybe that was the reason why he always sent the three of them there.

Blue… the room was blue just like the sky and… _him_. It hurt her but not as much as it always did. She didn't felt suffocated or slow moving.

Ranka just felt a small ache in her heart.

Funny… she always found it funny.

He had the same picture of them in his desk.

Here… in his desk.

Here… but not with him.

And funny… she always cried while looking at that picture, in his desk, every time she slept there.

Sometimes she cried because she was hopeless, he didn't take that picture because he wanted to forget her and everything they had.

Sometimes she cried because she hoped, he left it here, in his room, protected, so that someday he could return to it. So that he could protect it and her again.

She was at odds with hoping and not hoping, to wait or to not wait.

Ranka was a two soul woman; the one that waited for _him _and the one that waited for no one.

"Which one should I follow?" She always asked but no one ever answered her.

Once again Ranka lift her left hand so she could at the cat bells. They didn't sing as they used to. They were old, just like she felt sometimes. The bells were always singing in the past. When she moved, everybody knew where she was.

And _his_ words about it…

"_So I can find you when you're lost." He whispered in her ear__ and putting the bracelet in her wrist. Ranka shivered when she felt his breathe caress her neck and his fingers touch her hand._

"_What if I'm not lost…?" She whispered back while turning her face to him._

"_Then that means you're with me…"_

"Maybe this means… you won't sing if he's not here, so that no one will find me. So he'll be the only one to find me. Or maybe… you will stop singing eventually and I'll be lost forever, huh…?" Ranka whispered to them.

Yes… maybe that was the answer.

Ranka would be lost forever and waiting forever.

/ 0.0 \

**T.B.C**

_Kabuki (0) – http : / / en. wikipedia . org / wiki /Kabuki_

_koi pond (1) – __http : / / en. wikipedia . org / wiki / __koipond_

_shoji (2) – __http : / / en. wikipedia . org / wiki /__shoji_

_Okaa-san(3) – mother_

_Kotatsu (4) – __http : / / en. wikipedia . org / wiki / __kotatsu_

_Ikebana (5) - __http : / / en. wikipedia . org / wiki / __Ikebana_

_Tatami (6) - __http : / / en. wikipedia . org / wiki / __tatami_

**If you still have questions please feel free to ask me. I'll ****trying to answer them as correctly as possible.**

**NOTE: You can find the uncensored version fanfiction of "The Neko and the Samurai" in my website. Just go to my profile page and enter the Website. Have a nice navigation in it. **

**The reason why I separated and censored some parts: I don't want to have my fanfiction deleted so if you somewhat like this fanfiction, have the age and desire to read the uncensored version, then come and read it in my website.**


	3. Chapter 2 Together even Apart

**Disclaimer: I don't own Macross Frontier or its characters. This is purely fan-made and has almost anything to do with it.**

**NOTE: **Well this one is AU. WARNING AU! This has nothing to do with the series, be it manga, anime or movie! Its a completely different world, where there's no technology as advanced as we saw in the series.

Real world time, no crazy spaceships beaming around killing aliens! I want to make it as real as possible.

**Warning:Alternate Universe**. Angst and adult schemes. Alto/Ranka fanfiction. It may appear in the beginning as if it isn't but hope you will be patient with me and read. Alto/Sheryl big dose but very important to Alto/Ranka relationship. Both good and bad.

**Pairs: **Alto/Ranka

Alto/Sheryl

Nanase/Luca

Michael/Klan

OC/?(Want to make you guess who it is ;P)

There will be more to come. Give it a try!

**Important Message:** Thank you guys for reviewing, it made me happy and its because of you guys that after so long since I last updated this that I'm going to continue and of course, Ao no Exorcist Ost made me inspired to continue! All your question will be answered in due time, I want to make people sweat with anxious to know what's happening and how it all happened.

I'm really sorry for taking so long to update, but life sometimes is too hard to even allow muses to reach people.

So feel free to read the next part of this grand adventure!

**MUSIC TO LISTEN WHILE READIND:**

Keane – She Has No Time

Demi Lovato – Skyscraper

Ami Lee – Sally's Song

Thriving Ivory – Flowers for a Ghost

Nana Movie OST – An End

Radiohead – You

Emily Browning – Sweet Dreams

Wolf's Rain – Heaven's not enough

_**The Neko and the Samurai**_

_**Chapter II**_

_**Together even Apart -**_

The sound of the birds made Ranka wake up slowly and peacefully. As she opened her eyes she saw how the light was creeping slowly inside the room and came to kiss two of the most beautiful things she ever saw.

Across her bed, baby like skin, white but not unhealthy, glowed warmly and it whispered to her to come closer and kiss it. Both of the boys were curled together, their hands closed in each other's and their breathing was synchronized as if they weren't not two but only one. Their hair was spilled all around them and the covers were almost all off of the twins.

Ranka smiled at the serene moment and she lazily sat up in the bed. When her feet touched the tatami she shivered as she felt the change of the temperature and Ranka chuckled slightly so she wouldn't wake the twins.

She got up and walked to their bed while Ranka looked at the twins face. Soundless she caressed their faces and then pulled the covers more closely to them so the cold wouldn't make them sick.

After giving each one of them a light kiss Ranka straightened up and look around her. The blue covers and the white walls stood has they always had. A dark desk stood to the left side, below the window. It was full of pictures from her in her last days of pregnancy, some of the twins when they were born, Christmas time and their birthdays. Below the desk were some old toys they got, like teddy bears and car toys.

The blue curtains darkened the room slightly while giving the room a impression of being under water. The chair stood in the right corner of the room besides the desk and it held her cloths for the day. There was a small bedside table at her bed that held her cosmetics and a hand mirror. A dolphin alarm clock was ticking quietly at forty-five past six.

Ranka knew that soon the twins would be up but she needed to be prepared before that so she could start the plans head. She had to prepare the small lunch for them for when they were in the Zoo.

So a bath was in order and warm cloths for her and the children. As Ranzou had said the night before, it would be colder now than before. She turned to the closet near the door that gave way to the bathroom, and noticed that she had to forgotten to take the tie from her hair and mentally berated herself for it while taking it off.

Ranka's hair had gotten longer since she gave birth to the boys but somehow it had become more weak and it didn't shine has it did. The doctor had said it was perfectly normal for that to happen after she gave birth. Ranka had consulted a hair dresser and soon she had it more strengthened but it wasn't the same.

Two years after the birth Ranka asked for it to be coloured more in a autumn green and added some faded gold streaks here and there. It made it better and now in faded green it wouldn't appear as if she had been sick. Now Ranka was a adult and matured, even in appearance, though, her red eyes had never lie of how much more old she was in mind and emotionally.

Even if she had been more childlike than in that moment.

Ranka took a long red towel from the closet and walked to the bathroom and closed the door softly. Soon her boys would be up and a new day was head. It had been awhile since she had take the day off to be with her kids and Ranka would make it as fun as she could for them.

/ - \

"Good morning, Ranzou." Ranka greeted the old man that was sitting in the pillows while drinking hot tea and reading a newspaper.

For Ranka it was a rare sight, Ranzou was a very strict man and for him things like newspapers or television while in the table was like breaking a sacrilegious ritual.

Ranzou looked up and nodded at her and folded the paper with agitated movements. Then he looked at Ranka and pointed to a pillow in front of him so she would sit.

"I hope you and the boys slept well. I admit my bones bothered me this night. Was it too cold?" Ranka smiled at the question, while she sat and poured tea in a teacup in from of her.

"There was no problem. The boys fell asleep fast, and the room is warm as always, Ranzou. There's nothing to worry about. " Her voice was mellow, the bath had made her somewhat warm and calm.

Ranzou nodded again and drank more of his tea. His white hair was impeccable and his kimono looked one of the finest he had. Ranka assumed Ranzou would be doing business soon.

"Today I'm going to take Yuki and Yue to the Zoo, so we won't be around much until 5 in the afternoon. I assume you're on business today, Ranzou?" Ranzou looked at Ranka's hands, that where around her teacup and then at her wet hair.

"Yes, I have a meeting with one of my clients. Ranka, your hair must be properly treated. You may catch the flu. You don't have the freedom of such. Remember, being a parent is the most responsible thing to be. They depend on you, so don't let them down. " Though Ranzou had used a slightly cold voice, Ranka knew better and she smiled at the caring undertone in his words.

"I'm sorry, I was hungry. I will take care of it as soon as I finish this tea. I need to wake them up too." Ranka drank her tea and smiled at Ranzou while he finished his. The sun was streaming from behind his back and his hair looked like the sun. Ranzou's posture didn't left anything to point out. Dignified, strong, strict and protecting.

She felt her eyes wetting slightly, for when he saw him in this moments, Ranka felt so thankful at him, that she couldn't almost not contain her emotions. Ranzou was the father that she had never had. It had been him that had given her the hand that Ranka needed. The strong person to push her up and lift her from the ground.

Strangely, Ranka had never though she would ever be accepted by him or treated with respect. When she had been younger, Ranka had a different view of the Kabuki man.

Maybe she did let others people opinions and judgements cloud her, but after everything, Ranka knew better.

"Well, I must go now. I will see you and the boys when you come home. Hope they have fun. I been working with them very hard lately." Ranzou was getting up, newspaper in hand and teacup left forgotten in the table. Ranka nodded and before he could leave she wanted to say some things.

"Ranzou, I am thankful. Thank you for taking care of them again. If it weren't for you, I would be in a very problematic situation this week." Ranzou nodded and then left. Ranka then finished her tea and got up to wake up her twins.

/ - \

Ranka felt like a bad person for going to wake up the boys while they looked so comfortable and warm. But she knew that it would be worse if she didn't after Ranka had promise to take them out to the Zoo.

It was going to be the first time the twins would go to it and they had looked really excited after she told them they would go.

Yuki and Yue were home schooled, Ranzou and Ranka had prefer it, but both knew that socially it wasn't very good for them. Children needed other children to develop social skills and the twins were being restricted from it. The only interaction that had was with Io's little brother, but the boy was so young that it wasn't really considered children company.

The boys liked to talk with the maids and people that met but adult conversation went only so far. Ranka participated and tried to be fun with them many times but she knew she lacked what they needed for they age.

So she hoped that the Zoo outing could provide some kind of meeting with other children, not that it was the best place for it, but it was a start.

When Ranka thought about it, Yue and Yuki looked like they didn't need other children. They did all together. From choosing clothes, the toys they played, the movies they saw, even when they talked with someone. It was really amazing how they interacted together with other people.

Ranka approached the bed that held the twins and sat down on the side. She bent down and hug them while giving a small warm kiss on each one.

"Yue, Yuki, wake up." Ranka whispered softly near their face. Yue started stirring but didn't open his eyes. Yuki didn't even bother changing movements. He looked completely out.

Yuki had his mouth slightly opened and his eyes moved slowly behind skin. Yue was starting to frown and pouting.

"Wake up, Kaa-chan misses you." Yue slowly opened his red eyes, looking misty and sleepy. He turned his head and saw Ranka looking at him with a warm smile with her head tilted to the left side.

"Good morning, love." Yue brought one of his hand to his eyes and rubbed them and Ranka chuckled. Yue yawned and with his arm he curled it around her neck to bring her close.

" 'moning, Kaa-chan." Yue voice was almost non existent but Ranka still heard. Yuki by now was starting to wake up too and he was making disagreeable noises.

"Five..."Yuki whispered while trailing down in his speech and Ranka looked puzzle at him. Yue kissed her cheek and sighed deeply.

"Five... Yuki? Five what?" Ranka asked Yuki while giving Yue another kiss. Yue chuckled and tighten his arms more around her neck. Yuki pouted and hide his head on the pillow.

"Five minutes..." Yuki whispered but Ranka kissed him on the cheek while giggling.

"Peguin-san will fly away if you wait more five minutes, Yuki." Ranka said in a sad voice while pouting her lips. Yuki instantly woke up while staring at her face with a peeved face.

"Liar, penguins don't fly!" Yuki said while crossing his arms and looking pointedly at her. Ranka laughed and kinda remembered that Yuki was a penguin lover. She really had smart boys.

"Yue, tell him. Didn't we saw a penguin flying once?" Yue looked at with golden serious but protecting eyes, Yuki looked at his brother with wide eyes.

"Kaa-chan, don't make fun of Yuki, he will cry! Penguins don't fly..." Yue said and Yuki grinned madly but when Ranka pouted and made a sad face, they got quiet.

"But I though they did..."Yue and Yuki startled in laugh when they noticed that Ranka was playing around when she made a ugly face. They both hugged her and Ranka felt happy.

"So, are we going to the Zoo or not?" Asked Ranka with a impatient face, while straightening up to look at both of them when they stretched out. The twins sat on the bed and smiled at her.

"Hai, Kaa-chan. Wait please, we need to wash teeth." Yue said while Yuki jumped from the bed to go to the bathroom. Yue wasn't far behind, but before that he went to get his and his brothers clothes for the outing.

"Yue, Yuki, after you finish come eat breakfast okay?" Ranka yelled out while at the door of the bedroom. The sound of water reached her ears and toothbrush working simultaneously.

"Hai!" Both of them yelled in response at the same time. Ranka chuckled and walked to the dining room where she had earlier eaten something.

Yue and Yuki could pretty much do everything together. From chose clothes to clean themselves up. But bath was out of the question, because they were like fish. If you weren't there to control the flow, they pretty much made the flow. And in her experience that was a disaster with the twins.

A maid passed her while bowing her head at her. Ranka paid the same respect and sat down in the same pillow from before. The room was tinged in reds and golds, pillows were velvet soft with red pattern. The low table was dark brown and the wall patterns were red and gold with swirls and birds imprints. There was a small cubicle with Kabuki items and a gold cat statue was at the left corner.

The first time she had come here, Ranka had felt intimidated by the beauty and she felt that everything was fragile and that it would brake easily, instead now she felt at home and warm.

Another maid came and brought small cookies and two cup of warm chocolate milk for the boys.

"Thank you, Maiko-san." Ranka thanked the lady before she left. Ranka could hear the boys walking down the stairs with fast paced steps and soon she knew they would be here. Yue and Yuki knew that running in the house was frowned upon, so they walked in a fast was just like Ranzou taught them.

The twins entered and smiled widely at her and both went to sit at their designated places. They devoured they food and the milk in a respectful way and Ranka felt that they were trying to impress her with their new ways.

"Oh, you boys look so well!" Ranka exclaimed at them while looking at the clothes they were using. Yue was using a green long shirt with blue jeans and white pullover was at his side, so he wouldn't dirty it if he spilled something while eating. His blue hair was brushed back and a red tight was pulling his hair up in a high ponytail.

Yuki was using a blue long shirt and the same styled jeans as his brother, the pullover was black but he was wearing it instead. His hair was down and it was all over him covering his body like long coat.

They both were so startling alike their father that it made her feel some deja vu emotions. Ranka felt that she had failed them somehow when she looked at them all dressed and ready, she hadn't helped at all, but maybe, that was because when they reach the age to understand some things, they felt the need to change and do it themselves.

It hadn't been easy to cloth two sleepy boys with a job to go to and food to be ready and to take them to Ranzou's house. Ranka knew they understood that the lack of a family member was straining. There had been times when they had fight her from being clothed or cleaned, Ranka had cried desperately. And instead of having one person crying there were three.

So after awhile they would be patient and let her cloth them and then they start doing it alone when Ranka woke up late and things needed to be fast.

"After breakfast lets get you boys some coats, its cold today. Okay?" Ranka asked while drinking another cup of tea and eating some cookies. Yue and Yuki nodded and continued eating. Maiko entered again with three lunch boxes and Ranka thanked her.

Yue and Yuki finished, they got up and went to get cleaned up in the bathroom closer to them. Ranka got up, grabbed the lunch-boxes and picked her car keys from the key-holder near the hall and wait for the twins.

Ranka chose the warmest footwear for them and got herself some warm ones too. She was wearing a fluffy warm pullover in white with black tight jeans, she had a white snow hat in her head and her high heels had two small white pompoms. She had her long white coat in her arms and her wallet in the car. Her hair was wavy and completely free of binds.

Yue and Yuki appeared with the same style of coats and they quickly put the shoes Ranka had choose. Yue was always better with knots and he ended helping Yuki with them. Both got up and gave each others their hands.

"So, all ready boys?"Ranka asked with a smile in her lips. Both nodded and Ranka approach them to give each one kiss.

"We tried to find ojii-san but we didn't found..." Yuki said with sad eyes. Yue nodded and looked at her with questioning eyes.

"Ranzou had a very important meeting, but don't worry, we will be back today. We are going to stay awhile here. So you can have fun now with me and then say hello to Ranzou when we got back, okay?" The twins got even more happy with the news and smiled.

"That's good Kaa-san! But are you going to stay too?" Yue asked while he lowered his head, Yuki golden eyes started getting misty and his face scrunching up as if trying to not cry.

Ranka's heart clenched at the sight and she instantly put everything down and went to the twins. She hugged them tightly to try to pass the emotion she wanted.

"Of course loves. I won't go anywhere any more. I promise, so don't cry okay? Kaa-chan missed you guys. So don't cry okay?" Ranka told them with a strong voice but she couldn't hide the teary edge at the end. Yue and Yuki held her almost with the same strength but they didn't contained them selves and let some tears out.

Ranka rocked them both and apologised continually but she did held the urge to cry. She was the mother and she needed to be there for them, it would be worse if she started crying too.

"Kaa-chan, don't leave more." Yue whispered and Yuki was trying to stop crying. Ranka held them at arms and looked at both of them in the eyes.

"I won't. I'm always here for you. So its okay now, I'm here." Yue and Yuki sniffed and then wiped their eyes. Ranka helped Yuki clean his running nose and Yue rubbed his eyes.

"Okay guys, wanna still go to the Zoo? If you guys want we can do something else you want." Ranka asked seriously at them. But both shook their head and they held their hands to her.

"Okay then, lets go have some fun then!" Ranka exclaimed excitedly and held the twins hands while picking up her coat and lunch-boxes. Yuki opened the door the three of them got outside and Yue closed it.

/ - \

The twins were having a blast and Ranka was joining them in the laughter. The sun was high and it wad warmer than it was when they left the house. If people looked they wouldn't say they were mother and sons but more like big sister and little brothers. But Ranka couldn't contain her happiness when she watch the boys as happy as they were.

Yue had been disappointed when he saw the monkeys. Both had complain about the smell and that they were to small. Ranka had tried not to laugh but their faces were hilarious when they got to smell the small but fluffy monkeys. She kinda felt bad about the poor animals, but they really were too cute for her.

After they reached the panthers, then that was another story, Yue had been mesmerized by the black strong prowl of the animal. Yuki was more of a bird lover but even the panther had stun the boy in place. The shine black skin of the panther was something that Ranka had never seen and she knew these animals were being well taken care of.

Disaster came when they got to the Bears, Yuki didn't like them at all and Yue said they were scary. One crying Yuki and a moody Yue was hard to deal with but nothing that penguins hadn't made better. Yuki loved them and Yue was interested in their weird walking.

Around twelve both of them started saying they were hungry and Ranka lead them to the lunch park.

And that was when the mood went down.

There were many families in the park and Ranka felt out of place the moment she sat down and many started staring. Yue and Yuki had been clueless in the first minutes while munching on onigiri and ramen. But after awhile they noticed that most of the families were different than them. They both had stopped eating and were staring at a particular family.

The father was well toned and his skin was slightly dark, his hair was cut close to the head and it was very black. His hands were big and his shoulders screamed protection. He had a small boy in his lap while he was talking with his blonde haired wife. She had white skin and she looked like she was sparkling. In her arms there was a small baby that was more or less alike her father in skin relation.

"Tou-san, more please!" The boy asked loudly the father, trying to catch his attention, and Ranka watched has the father unquestionably feed the boy some more forks of food while laughing at something the wife said.

The worse was that, no one was at fault there. That family didn't do anything wrong, they just were what they were. But Ranka felt betrayed and being made fun off. And when she looked at her twins, the longing and the confusion and mystification on their eyes, made her feel inadequate and hallow.

Ranka knew, she wasn't enough in their lives. People had warn her but she thought otherwise. Ranka thought that if they had never been with their father, never knew what having a father was, that they wouldn't feel how much he was missed and needed to them.

But who was she kidding? Ranka herself felt she needed him as their father. Ranka herself was a orphan, and she knew it. Maybe she just had wanted to be enough for once. But that was her being naive and selfish.

"Hey babes, don't let the food go cold." Ranka said, and both of the twins were broken from the spell. They looked at her with confused eyes, questions and doubts in their expression. Ranka simply tilted her head, smiled sadly and continued eating her food. She was waiting for the questions but surprising they just started eating again and remained silent as they always were when eating.

"Are you guys tired?" Ranka wanted to know how much more they could take before they were exhausted.

"I'm okay, Kaa-chan. I'm having fun." Yuki answered for both of them when Yue was munching.

"Good, because I want to go with you guys at this dolphins show. What you think?" Yue eyes widen and Yuki clapped his has with happiness. Yue cleaned his mouth and put the rest of the food inside the box.

"Lets go then!" Yue and Yuki were drinking their juice at express speed and Ranka was stupefied at the enthusiasm they where showing, but then burst in laughter.

"Ca-Calm down loves, its an hour away!" Ranka couldn't stop laughing, maybe because she really did find it or maybe because she noticed they were trying to make her forget what was happening around them. Yue and Yuki had always been very perspective of the happenings around them. And intelligent like she had never seen in children their age.

"Mou... Kaa-chan always spoils the surprises..." Yuki said while pouting with his brother.

"Neh, where did you learn that spoil word now, young man?" Wording was another thing they caught easily, Ranka was worried that if they heard someone swearing they would start doing it too...

"A maid said it to Yue when he started telling her about what happened to the princess of the tale he was learning to be." Yuki sounded shy then and Ranka was really surprised at how he came to conclude the conjugation of the words to the current situation.

"You both are always surprising me." Ranka said while putting down her unfinished onigiri. She started putting the rest in her bag and then got up and pointed to a hot drink car.

"Want a hot chocolate?" Yue and Yuki jumped from the benches and walked fast to catch up to their mother, while Ranka didn't saw, both looked back to the family from before.

/ - \

"We are back!" Yelled Ranka when they got home. The rest of the day had been good and the three of them were a little cold and the feeling of want to go home had been hard to ignore, so she had call it early and went back.

Yue and Yuki were already taking their shoes off and their coats were in their side. Ranka knew they wanted out of those clothes and in a kimono. A maid came to greet them with a plate with cookies, and both took one.

"Go great Ranzou, loves, he must miss you already!" Ranka said while they took off for the room. She heard them agreeing and was content. Ranka thanked the maid and then bowed.

"Ranzou, where is he? Did he came home already, Hana-san?" Ranka asked and the maid nodded.

"Ranzou-sama is in the Kabuki room." Ranka tanked her again and then walked to the room where Ranzou would be.

The walls were full of drawings and Kabuki items. The house was warmer than the day before and Ranka was thankful for it. She already could hear Ranzou's voice and someone else's, but that hadn't deter her from going to greet the master of the house.

Slowly she opened the screen of the room and silently entered. Ranzou hadn't stop conversing and the guest's back was to her.

"I want a party to go clean it, but remodel a little. Put warming in the tatami and paint the walls again. It's starting to look a little old. Same colour. For the furniture, get the best nothing sharp or that can make them allergic. Don't mess around and I want complete silence about this, is that understood?" Ranzou's voice was hard and she instantly knew what he was talking about.

_The house that she trashed the night before..._

"Hai, Ranzou-sama, we won't disappoint you. You can trust us." The man answered with respect and bowed. Ranzou did a dismissing gesture and let the man leave. Ranka felt her cheeks colour and warm up when the man's eyes caught hers. She felt embarrassed. Then he wasn't there anymore.

Ranzou looked at her and then at the stage behind him. Ranka approached him and greeted him for the second time that day.

"Thank you, Ranzou. I hope everything went well with the business deal." Ranka said while she sat on the stage, her legs moving up and down. Ranzou looked at her again and nodded.

"How was the day?" Ranka smiled softly and her eyes warmed at the question.

"It went well, I had fun... they had fun too. But it was cold today." Ranzou scrutinised her and frowned.

"So why the long face, Ranka?" Ranka stiffened and look down, her smiled gone. She still hadn't forgotten the lunch time.

"Hm, Yue and Yuki are really amazing. Today was a little hard at lunch, the park was packed with families, the twins looked more than they eat. Ranzou... do you think I did something wrong along the way?" Ranzou looked puzzled at the question.

"What you mean Ranka?" Ranka lift her head and sighed deeply.

"Maybe... Maybe I should have told him. About the twins I mean. Or maybe, I should have never told them the truth. I think I'm just making them wait with me for something that maybe it will never happen." Ranzou looked serious then and he turned to her fully.

"Ranka, as a mother you should question yourself many things. But do you really think you should be questioning this?" Ranka flinched at his voice.

"Don't you feel that you are both protecting them and him? Ranka, don't doubt your decision, just question what you shall do from now on. Telling him, lying to them... I don't think there's right or wrong, I think there's just what it must be done or not." Ranzou put his hand on her shoulder and then patted her head.

"You are a good mother Ranka. I'm proud that my grandsons mother is you. They are proud of you too. Mine left me, my wife left, you remain at their side faithfully, sometimes weak and fragile, but your here. I think that's all that matters for now." Ranka felt tears in her eyes and she nodded at him.

"Your right. I'm just messed up since yesterday. I'm sorry." Ranzou got a cloth for her to clean her tears.

"You know, you told them the truth, that way they won't wonder more than they should. Nor they question their' father's love for them. I think that's the best for everyone." Ranzou then wave her to the door while walking to it. Ranka jumped down and joined him.

Sometimes doubts clouds the mind and sadness makes you do crazy things. Loneliness can make you seek comfort in the strangest places and love can simple just make no sense at all. But having them, her small but lovely family, made her want to live more than anyone else.

/ - \

Ranka was preparing herself to change cloths for dinner, the twins had already changed and had joined Ranzou, when her cellphone started ringing. She instantly recognise Io's tune and Ranka hurried to answer. She knew that Io would only phone her today if something was up.

"Hello? Io-chan, everything okay?" Ranka greeted with a worried voice.

"Ranka-sama, I'm really sorry to bother you today, but something came up and I need your opinion." Io's voice sounded stressed and Ranka was even more worried.

"Okay, what happened?" Io sighed deeply, and Ranka heard a sound of a paper being ripped.

"Ranka-sama, Kuchiki Yioru phoned me some minutes ago, telling that he had change his mind about the pastry and he want us to make the cakes for his daughters weddings tomorrow. I told him I would consult you about this matter. Ranka-sama may I speak freely?" Ranka felt anger toward the man.

It had been a hassle after they had requested all the ingredients for the cakes when the man suddenly had cancelled everything last minute. Of course after that Ranka had told the staff to use them and there was nothing she could do now to get the same thing the man had asked from before. And now he wanted them again!

_The arrogance of some people, really!_

"Please, Io, tell me what we should do. I think I had enough with the damn man!" Ranka was angry now, it had been awhile since something like this had happen.

"If Ranka-sama allowed, I would like to use the new ingredients that came today, of course I would suggest it to Kuchiki-san. I'm familiar with them and I think I can do it." Io sounded shy but sure of what she was saying. Ranka didn't want to leave home now, but sometimes sacrifices needed to be made.

"I'll come down and help then, Io-chan can help me understand then." Ranka started getting dressed but she heard Io's voice in distress.

"Ranka-sama it's okay, please. I know this is selfish from me, but please don't leave your boys now. I can do it, I will be able to make it in time. You need time with them and I know that you haven't been with them much lately. So please, could you trust me?" Ranka then sat at the bed and though deeply. Io had nothing to be untrusted off, but it was a big request. Three wedding cakes, 300 guest at the wedding. It wasn't something to be joked around.

"Are you sure?" Io giggled and Ranka felt the excitement in the girls voice.

"Hai, Ranka-sama! I will make you proud! Come here first thing in the morning please! So until tomorrow!" And with that the phone ended. Ranka eyebrow twitched and then she bowed over with laugh.

Like she thought! The cheek of some people really!

/ - \

Dinner was being served and everyone in the table looked excited. That is if the statue expression on Ranzou could be called excitement at all. But Yuki and Yue looked ravenous. It had been a long day for them and Ranka herself felt hungry.

"Yuki, Yue, calm down. Soon it will be served until then be dignified." Ranzou voice sounded commanding and the twins stopped twitching and their posture went straight as a board. Ranka followed them in the rules and waited patiently for the maids to bring the food. Not a minute late and they came.

Roasted chicken and fried potatoes with chinese mushrooms. As drink Yue and Yuki had apple juice and Ranka had a little of white wine while Ranzou had warm sake.

Snow had started falling before dinner but the house had been warmed and they didn't felt the cold a t all. Knowing that they were protected from the snow, warm house and good food, made Ranka relax like she hadn't for awhile now.

Yue and Yuki had finish their plate and were being served their chocolate desert. Ranka and Ranzou had declined and only sipped warm sake while watching the twins eating the chocolate morsel with gusto.

"Have anything to do tomorrow?" Ranzou asked while pouring more sake in his cup. Rank looked mellow and relaxed, put her arm in the table and held her head in her hand while drinking.

"Hm, something. Need to go to the pastry and see how Io-chan did. Kuchiki Yioru remade the request just one hour ago." Ranzou lift his eyes to her bowed back.

"Its it okay for you to be here then?" Ranka chuckled at the question and sighed.

"Hm, she begged me to stay put and have fun. Told me... no, asked me to trust her. I think I can, so I will allow it." Ranzou nodded and Ranka continued kissing the edge of the cup while drinking slowly.

Then a question made her soul quake.

"Kaa-chan, why does Otou-san have to be with the other lady?" Ranka felt herself and Ranzou stiff in response. But neither changed postures because the way Yuki had asked was innocent and not cruel. It was soft and pleading.

Ranka felt her shoulders tightening and her hand started shaking around the cup. She breathed deeply and lift her eyes to the twins. Both looked slightly embarrassed and scared. She straightened up and look serious at them in the eyes.

Red and golden looked expectantly at her and she wouldn't denied their request.

"You remember when I said that Sheryl-san was a very special person to Otou-san, don't you?" Both nodded but they were still waiting for more. Ranka then looked sad as she told them more of the truth.

"Sheryl-san was a very special friend to me too. Everyone loved her. But Sheryl-san, was alone. No Otou-san, Okaa-san... only some friends. Then she found out. Sheryl-san was going to die soon." Yue and Yuki looked confused.

"Die?" Yue sounded confused. Yuki tilted his head.

"Yes. Do you remember Poopy-chan?" Poopy had been a stray cat Yue and Yuki had picked up from the street but she had died with a rare disease. Yue and Yuki looked shocked and pressed their lips together.

Poopy had been a wonderful pet to both the twins and her death had shaken the boys. Everytime they remembered her they would hug Ranka and cry while begging for her to not go like Poopy had.

They hadn't understood what had happened until the moment they would call for her but she didn't come back. The more they called her the more sad they were. Until Yuki cried and Yue too. But the concept hadn't really settled in.

"Hm, Sheryl-san one day will be like Poopy-chan. You can call her but she wont ever come back. You can buy her things, but she won't see them. You may want to hug her but she's not there to have them. You may want to play with her but... you aren't allowed anymore." Yuki and Yue were starting to cry. Ranka was already crying because even after all what happened, she loved Sheryl like a sister.

"So... if Poopy-chan was here and you knew she would die, wouldn't you want to hold and be with her until the end?" Yue and Yuki were opening crying and holding each other.

"So Otou-san is with Sheryl-san, because he doesn't want her to die and wished he had more time with her. That's why I didn't told him about you both... Be-cause then he would come back and he would leave Sheryl-san alone and he would be very very sad. So I'm sorry, Yuki, Yue." Ranka hiccuped and Ranzou put his hand on her head as she cried.

"I wish he was here too! More than anyone... But when I decided to have you both, it was only my decision and no one else. I wouldn't have you both to make him come back. I had you because I didn't want to be alone anymore." Yue and Yuki walked to her and hugged her and cried with her.

"Because at least some way it would be as if he was here. It would be as if were together even apart. And it was a broken promise I made together with your Otou-san. That we would have two boys... and a dog, with a beautiful house with a small garden where you could run as you wanted." Yue and Yuki nodded and Ranzou continued to pat her head.

"And then... we would always be together forever. Until the end." Ranka couldn't speak more and even if Yue and Yuki were hugging her and Ranzou patting her head, her heart felt just like the day he had left.

Betrayed, alone, hallow, inconsolable and lost.

/ 0.0 \

**T.B.C**

If you still have questions please feel free to ask me. I'll trying to answer them as correctly as possible.

Want to thank everyone that review and still read this after 3 years of HIATUS. But the next chapter is under work. Stay tuned for more!

The reason why I separated and censored some parts: I don't want to have my fanfiction deleted so if you somewhat like this fanfiction, have the age and desire to read the uncensored version, then come and read it in my website.


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